Writing and being consistent has been tedious for me, today I didn't wanna write but I had to. Its like adulting, but waay easier.Adulting ( this is not even a real word btw) as we all love to put it, is a trap but it's more of a robber.The whole growing up process is a well orcherstrated and excellently executed robbery. And the fact that we all wanted to grow up makes me nostalgic and nauseuos at the same time, just take me back.
Take me back to a time when I would yell and titties would appear, to a time when I would just lift my hands and someone would pick me up and swirl me around.When everyone would touch my cheeks, stare into my eyes and call me adorable.When females would itch to carry me and others wish for a baby of their own. How glorious those times were.
Take me back to a time where I was a delivered blessing and an answered prayer.To a time when I was a bully, an attention seeker and a manipulator all in one, a tripple threat indeed and guess what? Everyone thought it normal, others called it a phase but most importantly, I always got away with it.
I miss my childhood, the carefree life, the dependant life, the worryless life. I still have some child left in me but I would trade places in a heartbeat.This adulting thing was a fabricated lie sold to me and I clearly cannot afford it, shortchanged!
You see I turn 22 this saturday, today being the 1st of october I will post a 'hello october' photo and caption it 'birthday month'. Three days later I will have lots of screenshots of my friends' timelines with my pictures and glorious captions wondering if it is still cool to repost. At the strike of midnight I will be 22. Science says that at 22 you start ageing and you stop growing. It makes me both reckless and restless and if I have to choose my less it will be the 'reck' one
The fact that we went out to play one day, went back home and never came back again not only makes me sad but also makes me wonder how the hell we did not know,Why the hell we wanted to grow, why the hell we threw our innocence to the wind and wanted to seem cool,calm and collected so fast. If I had a superpower it would be to go back back in time.
I thought I was the baddest ting then, now I have to take several looks in the mirror just to get to class. I worry about my Ootd now, yet then, I would walk in nappies (coz molfix was just an idea then). Now I worry about which boy would say what about my voice or my body, then, believe it or not I fought boys and yes, I won. Just take me back.
It's the responsibilities for me, it is the stress for me. It is the pressure for me. It is the 'who raised you?' remarks for me. It is the mental instability for me. It is the grow up! snares for me.This is clearly not what I signed up for.
Nonetheless, I welcome you 22, coz it's not like I have much of an option. I only need you to be a little less adult and a lot more child.
I should have probably titled this '22' or 'Take me back' but then we grew up!