He smoked a cigarrete today, He didn't intend to, but he did anyway. It reminded me of the first time I saw him, I was awestruck...that word is actually an understatement. He was everything I wanted in a man...right complexion ,right beard size and His voice ...jesus!
We were at his house , I smoked too...I am not a smoker I just did it to like show support, show I like him as much, that I could die for him...cared less about the cancer...for him.
He reciprocated alright, he tapped my back as I coughed, almost choking to death, with tears in my eyes, I said
" not so bad"
and managed a smile
I thought that was cute...you know... he was there for me...he cared ...he couldn't let me choke to death, I was a first timer... and he cared...that's all that mattered.
You can tell he was a dickhead already, so we ended up nowhere...and I did all the chasing anyway so no it wasn't worth it. I put him at the back of my mind and moved on with my life.
3 years later...I see him...looking good... same old same old, the spark was still there, my heart still skipped a beat...and I asked for his number ...I never called ...its a thing we girls do...just to keep the mystery going. And ofcourse to feed my ego.
After corona I see him again...call out his name from the back of a cab...and that night he calls me back.
"Do you wanna hang?" He asks
"Ofcourse I do" ,
I have been wanting to all my life, he couldn't see it then...he can't see it now either if you ask me.
He comes over, we have a nice neat conversation and I realised he looks older now, with clearer skin and a not so lean body. Attitude has changed for the better I guess...and I offer him soda. He doesn't touch it.
As we keep talking I face the elephant in the room
Do you still smoke? I ask
What do you think?
"I think you do"...
I was right..
He countered it with
"I am trying to stop now, then, I was a full time smoker...see progress!
He shoots me one..
You forgot I don't take sugar?
Hence him not having touched the soda..
I admit...and we laugh it off..
Whole time I am thinking...
A smoker who doesn't take sugar...the irony is of overwhelming proportions.
He is wearing the same thing he has always won, tshirt, jeans and converse... Consistency. He has a bike now...adventurous much
He takes it everywhere, bought it because he coudn't stand matatus anymore...and ofcourse because of his love for speed. It's blue, my favourite colour, but we all know he didn't give a thought to my love for blue while buying it....He likes cars too...hates football...something I adore in men.
He talks of how much he misses swimming now that most public pools are closed...and how he is worried he might loose his grip...talks about his new job and how God sent it was...
I listen with amusement written all over my face ...because he was an atheist then...almost convinced me to be one....things we do for love...or so I thought.
He eventually lets me into his new space... He is quite a reader,
"So many books" I say..
"Kinda gives me Obama vibes"...
Michelle ,in her book Becoming, says that the first time she visited Obama...there were books everywhere she almost tripped...see... I am on the right track.
Dude even grows mint in his balcony, and I am thinking if he can take care of mint the plant....with it's delicate nature...he can take care of me. Lies that bind.
I take him to my favourite icecream cafe...after having to explain to him why it is such a coincidence that everytime he comes over my house has no food. On our way we argue about feminism, the whole concept of it...
He thinks feminism is the worst thing to ever happen to women, I get pissed because he keeps cutting me short everytime I try to explain why I consider myself one.
We eventually get there and I remember he doesn't take sugar...I messed up...again..
Instantly , this phrase strikes my mentals.
" I am sugar, spice and everything nice"
too bad that he doesn't take sugar.
Now I have a whole can of icecream and no one to eat it with...sad, a tragedy.